Have you ever felt like you hit the wall trying to get your point across? Or maybe your words landed into someone’s ears as the complete opposite of what you meant to say? Misunderstandings are common, you’re not alone!
As this story unfolds, you’ll learn how to discover ease when opinions clash and be immune to disapproval of others.
Dancing With Fear of Being Misunderstood
“How can I come from a place of profound love and care and be received as a proponent of rape and violence?” My logical mind was failing to make sense of the stream of critical comments to my article published on a very popular site averaging 4 million viewers per month.
My understanding of the laws of the universe supplied the answers.
It’s not “them” – the people who didn’t understand. It’s me and my lifelong friend-Fear. It was refusing to be swept under the rug any more.
I stood in front of the gate of my next level of service, chained to the past by this fear, unable to step through the opening.
I knew that I won’t be able to move forward full speed, until I it let go of the fear. I so wanted to release this parking break! Why was it so damn difficult?
“What should I do with you?” I asked my fear. “Where the hell do you come from?”
“From the lifetimes of being burned, tortured, and crucified for speaking your truth” I heard the answer. Ah! This made more sense.
While still not sure how to release the fear, I went on to read more comments to my article. And there, while crap was piling over my head, I discovered EASE…
I realized that the counter current was produced by my own resistance and defensiveness. I was the creator of the army I was fighting against. And the more I was opposing, the stronger the opposition grew…
The habitual reaction of most people to criticism is an attempt to explain, justify, or defend your position; maybe even apologizing for the lack of better communication. But when dozens of people spew their own frustrations and hatred onto you, you realize that there is no way you can talk to all of them and make peace. Nor it’s possible to find consensus, because your vantage points are vastly different.
My Discovery of EASE:
There was only one thing I could do to produce change. RELEASE my own defensiveness and concern. Go with the flow and ALLOW them to have their opinions while honoring my right to have mine. I stopped resisting their attacks. I stopped worrying about their perception of me or of my message. I embraced their disapproval and surrendered my protective armor. And, of course, I stopped reading the comments.
“Turn the other cheek” I get it now…
Then I had to remind myself of the wisdom I taught my clients for years. The sun shines and gives warmth because it’s the sun’s nature. It doesn’t care if people bask in its light or pronounce it dangerous, use sun blocks or hide in a shade. The sun will shine no matter what.
The freedom is in surrender. When nothing is rejected and everything is embraced: love, fear, hatred, joy, tears… you come into the center of crazy motion and discover stillness.
I shall share my gifts from the bottom of my heart. There are people who are ready to receive them, and there are many who will never accept it. It’s irrelevant whether people will praise me or condemn me. Neither effects who I am.
I am in this world, but I am not of it.
If you don’t run away from your fear, but instead, embrace it and dance with it, you’ll discover more joy than you’ve ever known on a flip side of it.
And humor, of course, is a great peace maker. So I thought I’d share the Episode of Jimmy Kimmel’s Show, where celebrities read the terrible things people Tweet about them. It’s hugely dysfunctional, but laughing about it is probably the best approach.
Fear is the key to your power. Simply turn the key, and as the door opens, you’ll allow more LOVE to shine from your heart.
Is there a fear that’s holding you back? How are you dealing with it? Share in the comments below!