You are about to learn the 3 biggest relationship mistakes which are deadly and should be avoided at all costs.
Every relationship has a fine line, which, once crossed, leads to the point of no return – eventual breakup.
It’s scary to see how many well-meaning people adopt these bad habits without realizing how damaging it can be. Pay attention, and stop these behavior patterns in their tracks, before they ruin your love life.
The 3 Biggest Relationship Mistakes to Avoid
1. Never use your mate’s past against them
Intimacy calls for trust. As we grow deeper in our connection with another, we reveal part of our history that may include personal stories, insecurities, or even traumas. We share those things in hopes to be better understood and accepted. If our revelations are met with judgment, we retreat into a protective shell and withdraw emotionally.
It’s the worst when the judgment comes when you least expect it: When you get into a disagreement with your mate, and they use your past to blame or discourage you. This is the ultimate back-stabbing. Your feel betrayed and violated.
People use personal information as a weapon out of frustration and helplessness, not realizing the degree of damage they are causing. Their partner is unlikely to EVER trust them again.
2. Never discuss your relationship with third parties
Talking to your friend, sibling or a mother about the intimate dynamics of your relationship is a big mistake. You have a personal perception of your mate, and your experience with this person is also unique. Any time you talk about your mate, people feel compelled to express their opinions and offer you advice, even if you didn’t ask for it. Inevitably, your own clarity and intuition get fogged by their input. Well-meaning and caring people start passing their insecurities and bad experiences onto you, forcing you to go into protection mode.
As the result, you may become cautious, over-analyze everything, and begin closing your heart. Your partner feels these walls growing between the two of you, and his or her defenses kick in, too. No one wants to get hurt. Now you are both building walls of distrust, play safe, and sabotage the development of your relationship.
In my book Best Thing Ever: Escape Disappointments and Drama and Let True Love Into Your Life I talk about growth versus self-preservation. These two processes cannot be activated simultaneously. It’s a part of nature. All living organisms cannot grow and procreate when they are in survival mode. Love can thrive only when both partners are in growth mode and open.
3. Never make fun of your mate in a social setting
We all love to laugh and have fun. Yet, never have fun at the expense of your beloved. Sliding diminishing jokes or sharing unfavorable peculiarities about your lover demonstrates your disrespect to your mate.
You are basically saying “Look what I have to put up with” versus “I feel so blessed to have this person in my life.” Can you feel the difference? Relationship is always a choice. You pick a partner to be with. Publicly displayed discontent reflects poorly on you as well. It implies that either you are settling for less than you think you deserve, which means you are insecure, or that you are not capable of appreciating the good that’s in your life, which means that you’re a complainer.
Treat your relationship as a sacred space. Don’t let anyone intrude in it and protect it as a precious treasure. Respect yourself and respect your lover, stand strong together and back each other up. Solve your disagreements privately and trust in the integrity of your partner.