Before we explore what makes a man powerful, let’s look at dangerous, and, unfortunately common misinterpretation of power.
Popular media calls men like Harvey Weinstein exposed through #metoo movement “powerful.” A man disgracing himself to sexually harass or assault a woman is psychologically weakened and spiritually disconnected. He is not in control of his body or emotions. His personal integrity and respect of self and others are compromised, and it’s an ultimately insecure state of being.
The word “power” is often equated with money, social status, sphere of influence, or physical strength. These represent the outer attributes of achievement or capacity to impose physical force. True power is a character trait, not a social status or a position of authority. And it’s dangerous to assume that a possession of material wealth or a successful career equals power. This perception keeps people in fear and forces them to comply.
It’s time we set the record straight and re-define what power really means. True power empowers others and NOT over-powers them. It’s FOR people, and NOT over people. It cannot be abused, for it expresses the deepest love of one’s heart. Real power stems from unwavering integrity and does not require reinforcement. It relinquishes control and functions on inspiration and compassion.
Males who sexually assault women can be rich and accomplished in their career, but deep inside they feel fearful! To cope with their feeling of inadequacy, they try extra hard to accumulate impressive accessories, accolades, and other socially regarded elements to build an intimidating facade. That’s why they appear arrogant, use manipulations, blackmail, or coercing to get their way. Feeling power over others helps them to cope with their hidden fear of rejection.
Think of this, if a man feels powerful and desired, why would he attempt to make advances on someone who does not reciprocate? When a man has a healthy self-esteem, he wants a woman to be genuinely attracted to him. Males who brag about their sexual “victories” and collect women as trophies, are seeking external validation to compensate for their internally lacking self-worth.
If women understood that in reality these “powerful” men are WEAK, it would be easier for them to say “no” and hold their ground. Then women could have compassion for these men and remind them of their real power, speak to their heart bypassing their confused mind.
Most women who fall prey to dysfunctional males also carry hidden insecurities. A woman’s fear of being not good enough on a subconscious level attracts a male who is ready co-create a proof of this limiting belief. A heavy burden of shame is often the result of sexual misconducts for both a man and a woman. Shame strongly reinforces the fear of being “not good enough.” That is why insecure women are an easy target. And that’s why the same woman can be subjected to multiple sexual assaults.
Women on our planet have been oppressed for generations. In the recent years, women made significant progress in their fight for social and professional equality. At the same time, there is an ongoing accusation of men for putting women at disadvantage.
What’s overlooked, however, is that if men were truly in their power, women could have not been oppressed. An empowered man honors women as life-givers, supports and protects them, listens to their wisdom, and deeply respects them. For millennia, humanity was suppressing true masculine power as much as it has been suppressing the feminine grace. If men were awake in their heart-centered leadership, they would have not allowed for women to be violated, burnt on sticks, and tamed into compliance.
Masculinity has been wrongfully accused of all the ill-doing in the world. In collective subconscious the words “violence,” “crime,” “greed,” “drugs,” “aggression,” etc. are associated with men. Hence, many well-meaning and kind-hearted men have linked manhood with “inflicting pain onto others.” Their loving mothers taught them to be nice, while the society conditioned them to hide and suppress their emotions. And so they subconsciously rejected their own masculinity and became “nice guys,” but not powerful men.
As a society, we need truly powerful men who can stand for their values. We need men who can take action and execute on inspired ideas. We need men who’ll protect women and love them deeply and fiercely. We need men who are passionate to create a better world for their children.
And this will not be done by soft indecisive males who have no purpose in life. Neither this will be done by dis-empowered males who have acquired impressive façades at the cost of their integrity. This will be done by men who remember who they truly and are not afraid to embrace the power of love in their heart and whose grit is unshakable.
As a society, we have to stop the confrontation of women versus men… This is a lose-lose game. We need to come together and honor each other. But first, we have to individually honor ourselves, dissolve insecurities, and own our personal true power.
Redefining the meaning of “power” is an essential step in this process of collective healing.